Just thinking ...out loud

I love tradition, but not just all tradition; not tradition simply for tradition’s sake. Why don’t more people question tradition? Some “traditions” have no clear purpose. It’s just doing something because we’ve always done it! That I question. Why do women wear heels? And men wear ties? Because fashion dictates it? Neither practice has any clear purpose. Women talk about the discomfort of heels, but they’re afraid to break “tradition” and not wear them to work or to an event. Events or work appear to demand a tie from men. Why? It’s a fashion! Not a necessity. Men once wore knickers and three-cornered hats…fashion changed and that’s no longer the norm. So why are men Still wearing ties? We can pull up old pictures, early 1900s or even as late as the 1920s, and men are wearing white shirts, sometimes with ties! And they’re sitting on a tractor or behind a horse and plow! Fashion is a funny thing. Why do people follow fashion dictates? That’s what it is a dictate! Someone, somewhere decided this piece of clothing is appropriate and necessary, but for no particular purpose. Fortunately, I guess, we can use those fashion dictates to determine what year that picture may have been taken. We can learn what era our ancestor lived or worked. I’ve collected books to help me unravel the mystery in those pictures. Then, of course, they end up on the shelves serving no purpose, because I lost interest in that particular mystery. What traditions do we faithfully continue without question? Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, birthdays, of course. That’s more than tradition. That’s part of the calendar of life. That’s how we build memories and, of course, create and maintain traditions. But gift-giving? How often do we follow tradition or start new ones? Commercially, business promotes an avalanche of gifts for every holiday, not just the traditional ones. And do we follow suit? Of course, it’s a new tradition! Secretaries Day, Grandparents Day, gender reveal or sip-n-see (to introduce a new little one) Women’s Day, friendship day. Is there a neighbors day or cousins day, maybe co-workers’ day? Businesses are always looking for a new gift-giving occasion. It’s good business! But why do we follow along? And why do we need a suggested occasion to give a gift to anyone? Or wear heels or a tie? Am I the only one who questions tradition for tradition’s sake? You must have some suggestions. But have you ever questioned them? Or broke tradition or refused a new one?

Saved again! Whew! The computer is Home again! Almost four days in the shop and you wonder if it’s coming back and if it will be fixed and not “compromised”. I can be a pack rat of sorts, or maybe that’s file-rat, when it comes to my computer use. There’re years of data on this and that’s copied from previous computers, too. And, yes, it’s All backed up….at least my service and an external hard drive say it is! What was wrong? We don’t really know unless a “replicating virus” caused a gltich that caused the keyboard to fail? And it only halfway failed. Meaning I (stupidly) have two identities saved on my computer…no I don’t know how I did that! But only one identity could use the keyboard. And, of course, that wasn’t my primary identity, but my apparent clone! Yep, there’s two of me, at least on my computer. All of this only proves computers (and also hackers and virus pirates) are getting smarter than the average computer user. My point in sharing this is simple…back up your computer or at least your most important files…and know what you’ve got---write it down! There are dozens of back-up methods and services. You can choose when and where you save your back-up. Carbonite, Back Blaze, Norton, iDrive, Nextiva and Dropbox come to mind, but I know there are others. In fact, I may be switching soon. A lot of services offer picture back-up, Google, Shutterfly, Amazon, iDrive, Flickr to name a few. And I don’t know how they all work, but some are free, some are paid or you can pay for more storage beyond the free-space. I was introduced to Forever.com for photos. It’s computer space you purchase, not borrow, like time share and you can (or should) protect it with a back-up manager (a relative or friend), so it’s not lost, if something happens to you. Forever, like some others offers services for photobooks, prints and gifts. If you’re like a lot of us, your whole life is on your computer and maybe some of your family history, too? But my point to all of these services is know what you’ve got, free or paid, temporary or permanent. Write it down, like you do your passwords ?? Computers can make things easier, but keeping up with them is still getting more complicated!

Patience! Slow down, you’ll live longer. You’ve heard it before, but have you thought of how to slow down and have more patience. A recent visit to a favorite shopping Mecca prompts my thoughts today. “Random acts of kindness” doesn’t take planning, and it shouldn’t. Smile at a store clerk. Help her find the UPC or put it where she can scan it quicker…it helps her. And it helps you…get out of the store quicker. Maybe he’s in training and you wait for him to correct his mistakes or to remember how to enter a particular item. Do you let people ahead of you with fewer items to purchase? Does any of that qualify as a Random Act of kindness? It shouldn’t have a name. It should be common sense. But for many people common sense is simply taking care of themselves…first. It can make a day easier, quicker…but a little less satisfying? Going through the day with a smile on your face, thinking good thoughts and knowingly doing good deeds isn’t stressful. It’s surprisingly easy…and healthy. It makes for a good day, likely for a lot of people and especially you. And in these unusual times more important than ever. Everyone has their own stressors. You’ve seen those Facebook posts, you don’t know what the person next to you might be going through, dealing with or hoping things will get better. You could be the one to make it better with a smile, a quick hello or just your patience. Put the grocery cart in a corral or in smaller stores run it back inside! Yes, it takes time, but don’t you feel better if you’ve helped the store or the poor kid that has to run around in cold or hot weather to corral all those carts or spare other drivers from hitting them. In a hurry to get out of a parking lot? Everyone is. But you don’t have to be first. You’ve got time so you can wait for an older couple trying to maneuver the maze, or a hassled young mother with a carload of screaming kids. If you take time, not hurry, you help yourself (less stress) and everyone around you and who knows maybe you’ll spare someone a fenderbender. Perhaps the operative word is patience. Plan on a little more patience. You’ll get your errands done just as quick and perhaps make it home with a smile on your face and energy left to tackle the next project on your “to do” list. Slow down. Life is a one-time gig.

Who is your personal hero? March 1 kicks off Women’s History month. Most women know, without being told, that women contributed to the success of men throughout history. That’s a given. But who got most of the credit? The National Women’s History Museum is currently an online group planning on eventual construction in Washington, D.C. https://www.womenshistory.org/ But that doesn’t mean it has any less information about the successes and contributions of women throughout history. Finding it online was a great treat and read. I mistakenly went looking for its physical location because the concept was introduced to me a year or two ago. I thought it was under-construction. But like everything else with women at the center, we’ll have to be patient for that…and maybe work to make it happen. There are websites and posts suggesting how to celebrate Women’s history month, from reading the works of women authors to campaigning for women candidates or fundraising for the National Museum. And maybe you have a special women’s cause to support or further. Regardless, women need to support women. That is likely a given...or should be. If you are not currently fired up to support a women’s cause, maybe you’d like a quieter pursuit to honor or appreciate the women who made a difference in your life. I’m a writer so my choice is to write about women, to women and for women. I’ve admired a lot of women over the years who have made a difference, not just for me, but for generations. And it would be silly to try and list them all. You have your own list, of course. Mothers, grandmothers, aunts, friends and neighbors. But have you thanked any of them? I found that as one suggestion online. Send your personal hero a thank you note, a “thinking of you” card to let them know how and why you appreciate them. Maybe it’s someone older or maybe someone younger you just want to say thank you to or encourage in their life. My regular pursuit is collecting family and local history. I have a collection of “stories” about some of the women (and men) who have contributed to my life, who have made me who I am. It’s a lot of memories collected and recorded, because I believe they should not be forgotten. I haven’t forgotten and I want others to “know” them. Maybe you have a similar case. Someone in your family, neighborhood or town or someone famous you don’t want forgotten for their contributions to life, yours or others. Of course, you can tell us here or another public platform, who is your personal hero? Or maybe you want to post your memories or in a written format for circulation to those who may share your thoughts. If you don’t want anyone to forget, or a newer generation to know, Write it down! Write or record it in your favorite format to be sure their stories live on.

Time to Declutter

Imagine my surprise when a book that piqued my interest showed up on my Kindle today. I was catching up on some reading, reviewing a book excerpt on decluttering. Who doesn’t need to declutter somewhere? My piles of junk mail, tax mail, statements, receipts were calling my name and right beside them are countless “I might need this…someday” items. I’ll bet you have something like that…somewhere. Guess that book caught my interest earlier and I had pre-ordered it. What can I say …great minds! So now, I not only have the interest, but maybe the time? And I’ll know just how to do it…if I can get this book read. I’ll let you know how that works out. But it also brings to mind some of my “failings.” Keeping stuff for the sake of keeping stuff! I now know I grew up in the shadow of the depression. No, I’m not that old, but my parents were and they didn’t like throwing things away, IF you (or anyone) might be able to use it someday. They’re the ones who kept piles of extra lumber or building materials, nails, screws, pipes, old towels or sheets and shirts for rags, mismatched dishes, empty boxes, even old magazines and out-dated books. Do you have a box of pieces of wire you “might” use for repairs? Scraps of fabric you might need for a quilt or a craft? Or a bag of bags, you might use? I’ve often lamented we live in a throw-away society. Toss it, if you’re not using it. You’ll buy another, IF you need it again or a newer version will work better. Or if, like a lot of us, you can’t find it when you do need it! In the meantime, we are living in stacks of boxes and bags of clutter with “things” that we’ve accumulated as we’ve needed them, wanted them or were gifted them…and you shouldn’t throw away a gift! Even if it doesn’t work or fit. It brings to mind a recent Facebook post, where an older family member was trying to downsize and having difficulty getting rid of “things”. The daughter couldn’t understand why it took so long, until she started listening…every “thing” has a story or a memory. It’s not the things we’re keeping, but the memories. And it fits my mantra…”write it down!” If you have gifts that no longer have a purpose, write down why you kept it in the first place. If you keep old dishes or special pots or pans, who used them and why? If you have a dull saw or burnt-out tool that might be fixed, why is it there and what was it used for? If you have pictures of forgotten family or friends, does anyone know or remember them? Tell their story, file a few pictures with them and can the duplicates or out of focus ones! Maybe it’s as simple as making a list of things or stories from or for the family. Maybe you can create a notebook, a scrapbook, a quilt, a renewed piece of furniture…you could even write a book. But you don’t need bags and boxes of stuff for another generation to plow through and wonder why is this here? This book starts out right. Don’t dive in with plans to finish today or this weekend or even this month. Understand it took time to accumulate “stuff” and the memories with them. It’s bound to take time to declutter.

Thank You! There I heard it again... “somebody should do something”. There is a problem in the neighborhood, the town or the world in general AND somebody should fix it! How often have you heard it? Or said it? The point being IT needs to be fixed and an unknown someone should fix it. But who? Apparently not the person who said it. Fortunately, there are quite a few somebodies out there. You know them, firefighters, police, paramedics, nurses, doctors, teachers, councilors, selectmen/women, committee members, organizers, volunteers. We all know someone who stepped up whether it’s a job requiring an education or someone willing to stick his/her neck out to “fix” something or just to carry on traditional actions or events. However, IT doesn’t always have enough somebodies to do the job. I have stepped up as a volunteer, organizer, secretary, treasurer, even president or chairman of some projects or organizations. That doesn’t make me special or any different from you. It’s just “been there, done that”. The problem is when all the somebodies get tired, worn out, burnt out, or simply old! They’re not as willing or perhaps able to take on the next dilemma, issue or event. I write this not to pat myself on the back or ask for applause, but to thank ALL the somebodies who have stepped up. You know who you are. If you’ve given your time, talents, education or experience to fix something, take care of something, lead someone or complete a community task… Thank You! This year the “IT” is dealing with the pandemic and we All owe a big debt to anyone who kept on “doing,“ whether it was medical or many essential services …Thank You for what you do! But outside a pandemic, if you’re not on a list of do-ers or somebodies, is there something you can do? Can you take over the next project, help with a neighborhood, town or state dilemma? For some helpers, it could be cooking, sewing, babysitting, making or building, organizing an event or serving as a volunteer. I have always believed If everyone volunteered just once, we would never run out of volunteers...All the “ITs” would be resolved. One of my favorite singers put it in a song “ Do What You Can”. Jon Bon Jovi can’t perform during the pandemic. He said “If you can’t do what you do, you do what you can.” He was washing dishes at his charity restaurant! Beyond the pandemic, when things get back to “normal” or not, are you somebody?

Remember your covid year Here we are in a memorable year and I have yet to blog about it or simply record my memories. I am not a faithful blogger. I mean to be, but it just isn’t happening. I will vow to do better! (at least I can try) Three years ago, my blog centered on “harvesting” your memories. It is, afterall, harvest season. I suggested you recall and perhaps re-create fall traditions of years past. Maybe it is as simple as harvesting your garden or canning or freezing a good supply from a farmer’s market, and letting newer generations help for the experience. You might kindle a new interest. Or perhaps your family had a tradition of a special fall gathering or followed a sports season. Whoops! That’s not in the cards this year! The purpose of my post is to encourage you to recall memories and traditions, and record them for your family or generations to come. I am a strong believer in collecting memories, memorabilia, photos and film to pass on to new generations that may have an interest. I know you have children and grandchildren who aren’t so interested in family history. But will another generation have that interest? Where will all the memories be? I’m not a scrapbooker, at least not in the traditional sense. I don’t cut and paste well, at least not physically. I prefer to work digitally. And our “covid-year” has supplied time and “fuel” to feed my digital efforts. Truthfully the last six months is a bit of a blur…. afterall wasn’t every day just the same. Same surroundings, same people, same tasks. Perhaps slightly different with the daily covid briefings, the numbers are up, the numbers are down, more in New York, Florida, California, and thankfully low in Maine. The point is Something happened this year! And on top of it all, it’s an election year! As if anyone needed a reminder. The ads are endless and pointless, he said this, she said that. I’ve said it before…. please! Don’t let a campaign ad decide your vote. Get the facts for yourself! I am a broken record with my opinions, I know. Just Write It Down! Whatever “it” is! Save your photos to a program or website. Write the information that explains them or simply identify the photo on the back, if it’s a hard copy. There are programs, apps and websites that will store your photos, help you organize your photos and make multiple products from your memories. Some are costly and some are free. Find what works for you. I’m trying out a new forever site for my pix now with plans to turn them into photobooks…just watch for the storage period…is it forever? I’ll let you know how it works out and I can send you a link, if it does. Whatever you do for recollection or preservation…save it. We use to use diaries for that…some people journal or still do digitally. If you’re posting your life on social media…save it for the day you don’t or can’t remember.