You can do it!

You’ve’ heard those words before. Whether it was learning to ride a bike, reading a “fat” and potentially challenging book, at any age, or getting back into the swing of things after a nasty fall or failure. The words come easily to someone who has done it, or not. Doing “it” is what you perceive it to be…hard or easy. So if I tell you, you CAN write a family history or your own memoir, it’s your perception that counts…obviously. Writing family history or your own, is a deeply personal undertaking. What if you get it wrong? What if your family doesn’t like it or agree with it? I’m here to tell you…you CAN’T get it wrong. It’s ultimately YOUR history, your perception of what life has been like and how you choose to put it together. My history is a mass of short stories, recorded memories and photos…tons of photos. It’s all preserved! It’s saved for eternity. While I’ve written countless stories of other people’s lives and accomplishments, mine is still piecemeal. I might get it wrong if I try to put it together as complete....but it's not complete until I die...I forgot that part. Yes, I need to tell myself…you can do it! And I have done it…just not the way I envisioned as final, or what “counts.” That I learned recently is basically because I’m female with a tendency to discount my abilities, or apologize for them or put someone else’s need ahead of my own. I’m reading Sheryl Sandberg’s “Lean In.” She is much younger than I and far more successful, but her observations about women’s tendency to be second fiddle in life are right on. But it also leans towards our beliefs, men or women, that something is beyond our reach or abilities. You CAN do it! You, whether male or female, can write or collect your family history. And you can’t do it wrong, because it’s YOUR history, what you know or remember. Let your family do their own history or offer corrections to yours. You know someone needs to do it, and that someone is you. You can collect family anecdotes and write them in a notebook. You can record them on tape, disk or video. You can paste pictures into a scrapbook and write the stories that go with them. And you can simply set at your computer and write all that you know…You CAN do it! Why? Because it needs to be done…or you risk being forgotten or the stories will be lost and you KNOW you can tell them right!

Maybe you need to be a scrapper

So you don’t want to write your story or your family’s history, or you truly believe you can’t write…and let’s face it…it just takes TOO long. Well you’ve heard what they say about things worth doing…you know... are worth doing well! So let’s say you don’t want to WRITE a family history. For thousands of people that means scrapbooking. I’m not one of them, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it, if that suits your needs. Regardless it is time to find YOUR way for telling your family stories. With scrapbooking, you can choose to work with paper, scissors and glue or work with Creative Memories (http://www.creativememories.com/ ) or Close to My Heart (http://www.closetomyheart.com/) or a dozen other similar products and websites. There is also a book by my friend Denis Ledoux (http://www.turningmemories.com/scrapbook) to help you write the captions to accompany your family history via scrapbooking. Bottom line here…you can do it! The next question: Where to start? You don’t have to start at the beginning. Begin with your last adventure or your last family get-together. Was it a birthday party, a wedding, a reunion or a trip to the zoo? You took pictures I assume? Lay them out to tell your story. From the myriad of websites and scrapbooking websites, you can find multiple ways to line them up, embellish them with ribbons, lace or stickers or simply apply them to a blank page and write an explanation. Before you know it, you’ll be telling YOUR story. If you get the scrapbooking bug, so be it. Maybe this is the way to tell your story. I’ve been telling people for years…WRITE IT DOWN! So if you don’t want to write it, then show it. It’s a classic rule to writing…Show don’t tell. To use a different cliché, “ a picture is worth a 1,000 words.” Just think how much you’ve written by sharing your pictures. Just don’t forget to identify what you’ve pasted in your scrapbook. If you get one done, grab that box or drawer of old pictures and see what else is waiting to be told. I know I’ve got dozens of boxes and albums, not just from my immediate family, but generations before me. Just grabbing any one can tell a story, or start one. In fact, you may need to start a new box just to collect the pictures to tell the next story. Old pictures can be fixed. If not by you then someone you know will gladly scan your pictures for repair and reprinting. There are services out there for that. And along with it, you may want to turn to your computer for your scrapbooking…there are services for that too. Creative Memories has a digital center now and I’m sure other sites do as well. There are photo services for compiling your pictures into a free online or download-able program and you can make your own books. Follow Heritage Makers (http://www.heritagemakers.com/ ) motto… “Every story deserves a book of its own.” The answer to everything these days is “Google it”. If you can imagine another way to tell your story, it’s out there. I just found another way, albeit time-consuming, and involves technology… for next time you drop by here.

Don't be a Writer!

In some recent reading, I learned an important lesson for anyone trying to record their personal or family history….Don’t try to be a writer! That may be important if you don’t think of yourself as a writer. You are so convinced you can’t do it you over think it. You try too hard or worse you don’t do it at all. You don’t have to be a writer to record your family history. Your family is not going to read your family history to see how good a writer you are. They want to hear from you…your memories, your thoughts, what you know about their family. If you write to them to just tell them the family stories as you would sitting around the kitchen table, they will understand what you are writing about far quicker than a perfectly composed essay could relay. Don't worry about the exact structure of your sentences or paragraphs, just roll with your story. You can always go back to rework some explanations or adjust your grammar or spelling or you can find someone like me to help you rework it. The important thing is writing it down. I had a friend who definitely was not a writer…barely a good conversationalist. But he took my advice; he decided to “write it down.” He was well into his 70s and retired. He enjoyed working with the local historical society, but he was a worker. He wanted nothing to do with sitting around reminiscing or talking about what the society could do. He wanted to do it. He carried books, trophies and memorabilia from the town’s history. He painted the rooms donated to house the artifacts. He walked the cemetery to record all the graves. When I started writing a column “Write It Down” in our society’s quarterly newsletter, he listened. He took his pencil and a pad of paper to do just that…get his history and his memories recorded. He asked me to type it for him, even tho’ his wife was a perfectly good typist. I kept saying I would…and of course, wouldn’t you know, I didn’t “get around to it.” He fell at home after an illness, and subsequently and quite unexpectedly…died. I’ve never seen his written history, but based on the memories he shared for our newsletter, I’m sure it was a minimalist version of what may have been an interesting life. He was a laborer all his life, working in the local industry until his retirement. He walked to the post office every day. He and his wife followed the country music and bluegrass circuit with local, rural personalities. A simple life, but one that deserves to be remembered for what he felt was an accomplished life. I haven’t asked his wife, but I hope she found his recorded history and finally typed it for his family as his legacy. We all deserve to leave a legacy, our memories of a life well-lived or what we want people to remember about us. Or perhaps you just want someone to know the values you cherished in life to impact the lives of those who come after you. Write it down and don’t worry about how it reads…it’s just you telling your story.

Lost stories?

So you “forgot” to write it down. Does that mean it’s too late? Well there’s an easy answer to that and I don’t need to tell you what it is. I can repeat myself often, but it doesn’t do any good if no one is listening. Your mother didn’t write her stories. Your grandparents didn’t write their stories. So if you don’t write your stories where does that leave the stories? LOST! That’s my real message. If YOU don’t write your family stories or the stories of your town, your friends or your school…who will? Somebody should! You know that. Always “somebody” should do something and too many people always waiting for somebody else to do what they know should be done. We read all the time about someone one who did something and got something done. Is it time it was you? This message can apply to a lot of things whether it’s changing a law or an ordinance in your town or the rules at your child’s school….somebody should do something! Well my message for you is simpler….write it down! That’s my message to everyone who loves THE family stories. Write them down before they are gone. Write yourself a letter, a memo, a blogpost…whatever it takes to preserve “history”. Your history. I am a broken record. I know. I have a collection of short memories. Stories that I’ve started I haven’t finished. But if I’ve started them, I’m closer than you are to eventually getting them done! I keep reading about writing. Reading about marketing, how to….and always looking to make it better, easier, quicker... That’s part of my procrastination, always thinking there is a better way to get it down and done. There is no easy way. There is no quicker way. It takes a block of time, a commitment to remember and write. So talk to yourself already. Talk to your family. What do they want to know or need help remembering? Who’s gone and what did they do in their lifetime? Do your grandchildren know your grandparents? Do they know where they lived, how they lived, or what they gained, or lost, during their lifetime? That’s part of your history. True that’s only family history, but if your grandparents or great-grandparents were leaders in their community, their church or just their neighborhood aren’t there likely to be more people who want to know about them and their contributions? Yeah, I know practice what you preach….I am! I am writing now! Can you say the same thing?

Just do it....someone said that somewhere?

Just when you think you’re ready to embark on a new project, or finish an old one, life gets in the way. Kids, grandkids, pets, volunteer requests from every direction. I learned to say “no” years ago, I just forget to do it often enough. But I found a new website and “personal coach” and I may actually try her method. She appears to have the subtle motivation I need. Maybe you do, too? We all need a “buddy” in life sometimes…someone to hold your hand or kick you in the butt, whatever you may need at the time. I think I’m at the kick part right now. I need to get on with life and what I want to do with it. Yes, I write, and have written, memoirs…my memories and local history. I just need to get more of it down. I have the material. But where to start? My new “coach” suggests setting aside “sacred writing time”. That’s what you will find on my calendar today…and every day for the foreseeable future. Now if I can just stick to it. Day One: Sharing the info with you…my readers. Are you really out there? Can I help you jump start a new year, a new you? Isn’t that the cliché everyone lives by in January? I DO NOT make resolutions. But I will admit to applying new focus in a new year onto old habits, new habits, new ideas. It just makes sense at this time of year. So start writing. Is it about you, your family, your parents or your great, great grandparents? It’s family history and you are the only one carrying the stories around right now…until you write them down. Can’t write? Write yourself a letter. Then rewrite the letter whether it’s to yourself, your children or your grandchildren. Just write it down. Worry about the grammar and punctuation next time. You can correct the flow or have someone else look at it for the flow and content. But don’t let them change your story. Changing grammar, punctuation or the order information is presented is just good editing. Changing content is rewriting then maybe it isn’t yours anymore. Keep your stories as your memories or your thought process. Let your sister, or your best friend, write their own stories and the way they remember something. It’s not your story if they are trying to tell you how to write it and what to write. Yes maybe it’s time to set aside your “sacred writing time.” Or maybe you simply need to take time to talk with the relatives you want to write about or their descendants and capture what it is you’re missing. Maybe a draft is in order to put words to paper and see where it takes you. Some people “have to” write. I’m not one of them. I write because I can, not because I feel driven to do it. I write because there are stories to be told, before they are lost.