Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Wins, Losses and Volunteerism

There is a game on my computer I have played 245 times, but I’ve only won 244 times. To be truthful, the one failure was caused by a power failure, but that doesn’t count in my book…not for winning or losing! I should have 245 wins! According to my rules! And there is my problem. I should be perfect with a perfect record. I should be able to commit to a volunteer project and have it come out perfect every time. But funny….I don’t think of myself as a perfectionist. But there’s the evidence, I expect to “win” in everything I do. My writing should be perfect, no errors, no misconceptions, misunderstandings, misspelling, or incorrect grammar….my experience demands that I not make errors! My sewing should be absolutely right all the time! My gardening should reap great bounty and blossoms! My cooking should not be burnt, overcooked, undercooked or tasteless. And yes, I am disappointed when it doesn’t come out as expected. But there is such a thing as spreading yourself too thin. Taking on more than you can effectively do well…that’s my life in a nutshell! Does everyone do that? Does everyone take on projects and goals that they can never totally achieve? Or do they have better judgment about what is realistically possible or even probable? Or is this simply my affliction? Is it time to reel in the volunteerism? Or time to lower my expectations? How do other people alter this “condition”? I have always believed, if everyone simply took “their turn” at volunteerism, there would be no lack of volunteers. I’ve DONE my part….several times over and it’s time for someone else to take a turn…but so few people do…why is that? Why do some of us feel a need to volunteer? To organize and publicize events? Bake cookies, pies and bread for bake sales? Create quilts or scrapbooks? And when we do fail at some of these seemingly simple tasks…why do we set ourselves up to do it again? When is the cutoff point? When do you call it quits? Or at least hold back to, at least, see if someone else can do it or is willing to do it. I’ve reached that point of no return, time to reel in the volunteer efforts, to stop setting myself up for disappointment, and take on “do-able” tasks…family tasks and personal tasks that can leave me some satisfaction if not a simple win!